Hello, this is Michelle. First off, I apologize. This post was going to focus on specific discipline techniques that are useful when working with foster children. However, I had no idea what a bold endeavor that was- I realized that to explain the reason behind any given discipline technique’s effectiveness requires a lot more information on psychology and attachment than I can provide in a blog post. I’ll continue to research this and contact the foster care resources in my area to get more information on this, I would love to be able to provide this information.
However, one component of discipline that is often overlooked is how personal stress affects your parenting. It’s valuable to take time for yourself so you have more patience with others. Parenting of any kind is stressful, but parenting children who have special needs can really add to the stress. Sometimes it’s hard to realize that we need to step back (and sometimes it feels like you have no opportunity to pause- there is too much going on to take time for anything else). Research, and plenty of experience, has shown though that when we make time to do the things that important to us, we can more efficiently handle our other challenges. This is often referred to as “sharpening the saw”. The idea is that you will get more trees chopped if you stop and sharpen your saw regularly than if you continue working with a saw that can barely cut through the tree.
There are many ways to “sharpen the saw”: exercise, reading, date night, religious practice. One that has stood out to me though is progressive relaxation. Progressive relaxation leads you through a series of tensing and relaxing specific muscles. I like progressive relaxation because it has helped me learn to recognize when my muscles have become over tense (like when I’ve been at the computer too long or it’s really cold outside) and gives me an opportunity to consciously relax them. This can help reduce backaches, headaches, pains in the neck or shoulders, and other illnesses. (Greenberg, 2008) I’ve created a video, so if you’re interested, give progressive relaxation a try!
Greenberg, J.S., (2008). Comprehensive Stress Management. (10th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Thanks for the post! It really is an important area to have you your life. Thank you for the helpful tips on relaxation and taking that time in your life to de-stress.
ReplyDeleteChelsey
I think that it is important for parents to take a step back and make time for each other so that they can address situations with less stress.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I didn't lay on the floor and do the actual exercises, listening to your voice and focusing on relaxing really helped my shoulders to relax and I felt so much calmer. Thank you for the ideas of de-stressing.
ReplyDeleteI like your video Mishel it's very relaxing. I learned how to do this kind of relaxation years ago when I took yoga. I agree learning how to relax is very helpful in parenthood.
ReplyDeleteTHis movie is great! Your voice is so relaxing. I love how this video actually helps relieve stress!
ReplyDeleteI love this! It felt like I was at my yoga class! I really liked the analogy that parents need to take the time to stop and sharpen. I think it's easy to forget that to be a healthy parent you have to take sometime to destress. Thanks for sharing!
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