Coparenting and Fostercare/Adoption

 Research has found that children have some basic, universal requirements that they require to thrive.  Things like medical services and a good diet are necessary for survival, but there are other essentials that children need to adequately develop both physically and psychologically.  Brofenbrenner explains that this is especially important for "children of families who have been exposed to biological, economic, and social stress".  I think it's safe to say that while all children experience some level of stress, if a child is in the fostercare system, they've probably experienced more than their fair share of every kind of stress. 

One of thing that Brofenbrenner finds that significantly helps children is when, besides the primary caregiver, there's another adult who "assists, and encourages, spells off, gives status to, and expresses admiration and affection for the person caring for and engaging in joint activity with the child".  Children need to see healthy, supportive relationships demonstrated for them and to also have more than one adult invested in them.  I like that while typically a child's primary caregiver is a mother and the coparent is the father, there's also room for flexibility- a single mom with a good support system, same-sex couples, stay at home dad, or grandparents.  This is something that has been found to be important to all children.

Another study found that this is specifically true for parents of foster children.  It's really important that when a couple chooses to foster a child, that they're both on board.   Because of this, I really like the following website:

http://adoptivedads.org/

While most blogs on parenting are written by women, this is a forum for fathers of either foster children or adopted children to write about their experiences.  Because parenting a child who has a special need- regardless of the kind of need- usually requires that one parent really dedicates themselves to the children, sometimes we don't look as closely at the second parent- but they are an integral part of the family as a whole.

-Michelle

Brofenbrenner, U. (1994).  “Who cares for the children” in Nuba, H., Searson, M., and Sheiman, D. L. (EDs.), Resources for early childhood: A handbook. New York: Garland, 113-129 (edited paper from an individual address to UNESCO, Paris, 7 September 1989).

Linares, L. O., Rhodes, J. and Montalto, D. (2010), Perceptions of Coparenting in Foster Care. Family Process, 49: 530–542. doi: 10.1111/j.1545-5300.2010.01338.x