Disciplining - Reader Question Response

A question was asked,  "I was wondering what the best techniques for discipline are and if they differ from a child that does not have a disability or exceptionality?"

One of the most challenging but essential responsibilities of parenting is disciplining our children, and this is especially true for special needs children. However, our understanding of the word “discipline” varies across cultures and between people. Many people equate discipline with a physical reaction to bad behavior, such as spanking. What we fail to realize is that discipline constitutes what we do to promote good behavior. In other words, a parent’s ultimate goal is to teach self control.

Overall, research on disciplining special needs children from a parental viewpoint is limited in scope. Despite this, it is critical to understand and know as much about the disability your child has. This will help you with making informed decisions, many of which will deal with discipline.

For many special needs children, communicating needs is a challenge and may be an underlying cause for misbehavior. It then becomes the responsibility of the parent to acknowledge that their child is having a hard time coping with their emotions. Statements such as, “I can see that you are frustrated and I am sorry if I have caused you to feel this way. I am going to give you some time to calm down and when you are ready to talk about what it making you feel this way, I will be here to listen,” can help in giving the child the break they need to redirect themselves in to a more controlled attitude.

According to an article from My Child Source, “gentle discipline will eventually receive a better response from our children” (mychildsource.com, 2011). The site lists several strategies for promoting “gentle discipline,” such as:

• Self Discipline or inner discipline, which is provided through “good role modeling and guidance.”
• Safety
• Partnership- “By understanding their feelings and needs we can help them in a positive way.”
• Respect Goes Both Ways- “If children sense that there is a mutual respect then it will be easier for your child to listen to you because they know that you respect their feelings as well” (mychildsource.com, 2011).

I have worked a lot with children and teens with developmental and cognitive disabilities; I feel that these techniques are especially important to remember with disciplining children with and even without disabilities. Research will re-enforce the idea of positive reinforcement, which is the focusing on a good behavior instead of a bad behavior, with the hope that the good behavior will be repeated in the future, and from personal experience, I can confirm that it works. Although, I am not a parent, I feel that it is important to remain empathic when disciplining children. It not only helps the child to feel that they are being understood and encourages them to communicate their emotions and feelings, but it can also help them to feel that they have some control over their lives and the decisions they make. With all children, I feel it is important to have clear expectations and consequences for behavior. Your goal should be to provide your child with the tools necessary to succeed, even if they have a disability or not. 

“What defines us is how well we rise after falling.” –Author Unknown

Please respond with questions, comments, or concerns.

-Kristin 

Reference:

mychildsource.com. (2011, December 23). What is discipline?. Retrieved from http://mychildsource.com/what-is-discipline/